Updated May 16, Despite the "happily ever after" line peddled by fairy stories, becoming a real-life Royal is more Handmaid's Tale than Disney special. "Princess mary denmark dating online" true that Meghan Markle probably won't have to worry about an ultra-violent "salvaging" Gilead-speak for a ritualistic public execution any time soon.
But she's still about Princess mary denmark dating online say "I do" to a life of weirdly-shaped headgear, rigid uniform codes, constant surveillance and control, regime-bolstering propaganda and censorship, and creepy commentary about how well she is — or is not — fulfilling her function as an heir oven. To get an idea of exactly what Meghan is in for, we can look to Crown Princess Mary — the former Sydney real estate agent sales manager who endured a particularly arduous princessification process in the early s after she met Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark at a Sydney Olympic Games after-party.
For Mary, the road to Tiaraville turned out to be paved not with gold compared to the Windsors, the Danish Royals are practically paupers but with years of arduous language instruction, court etiquette boot camps and sneaking round to avoid dumpster-diving paparazzi.
The difficulties for Mary began with Date Zero which had the potential to sound deafening alarms on the Royal scandal-o-meter. Meghan met Harry in exceedingly proper circumstances after a mutual friend set them up on a blind date in a swanky private room at a member's only London Club. Mary, in contrast, met Frederik in the midst of a large party posse during a huge night of beer-drinking, pizza-eating and bar-hopping that started in a Sydney pub called The Slip Inn.
Mary was wearing jeans, had very nearly stayed home that night and took ages to realise that the cute, smooth-chested dude who'd introduced himself Princess mary denmark dating online "Fred" was actually European royalty. The playboy prince hit Mary up for her phone number even though he had a girlfriend at the time.
Later, Frederik confessed that his memories of the evening were "a bit blurry". Over the next 14 months, Mary and Fred successfully kept their long-distance thing on the down low. Shortly afterwards, Mary was Princess mary denmark dating online and she relocated to Europe.
And that's when things really got gruelling. In contrast with Meghan — privately educated in Hollywood and skilled at working the international fame machine — Mary loathed being photographed and many early shots taken by the snaparazzi show her looking like a wallaby caught in headlights.
One Danish columnist called her a hairy-legged, didgeridoo-playing bimbo while someone else said she could be mistaken for a flight stewardess. Other Royal watchers condemned her frequent frowning, preference for dark lip-gloss and frumpy clothing describing one outfit as a "confusing disappointment". Mary, however, had the power of white-collar managerialism on her side and approached her royal operating system upgrade with business-grade efficiency.
Later, she told the media she was in "a strategic planning phase" vis-a-vis her new Royal role. Mary glammed up and slimmed down. She ditched the drab, corporate wardrobe, the slumpy posture and the broad Awstrayan accent.
Learning Danish was difficult. Mary signed up with two experts and studied for three hours a day, determined not to make the same embarrassing errors as Frederik's late, French-born father who, at one banquet, apparently accused a visiting president of having "made a bad smell" instead of offering felicitous greetings.
After the Royal nuptials in Maymedia outlets changed things up by monitoring Mary's menstrual cycle as a gentle "hurry up" to conceive an heir. Mary obliged by producing a grand total of four micro princes and princesses. In the gazillion photos that have been taken of her since, Mary certainly looks happy and radiant and not secretly-screaming-on-the-inside or blinking "please save me" in Morse code.
Sure, the Buckingham Palace wedding invites refer to Markle as "Ms" instead of "Miss" on account of the scandalous fact of her having been previously divorced — but so what? And sure, there's the bitter half-brother publicly imploring Prince Harry to call the wedding the tell-all book-writing half-sister who calls Markle "Princess Pushy", and the entrepreneurial nephew growing a royal-themed marijuana strain called "Markle Sparkle" — but it would hardly be a fairy story without a few tricky rellos, right?
All Meghan has had to do is delete her social media accounts, change her citizenship and religion, and sign away having a private life forever, and Bob's Prince Edward's your uncle. The inconvenient truth, however, is that while royal families are stultifying for everyone, they tend to be particularly oppressive for their female members. While neither Meghan nor Mary had to undergo the outrageous indignity of Princess mary denmark dating online virginity test as was rumoured to have happened to Princess Dianathe double standards for female and male royals is truly OTT.
Consider, for instance, the likelihood of Meghan having passed palace muster if it had been her and not Harry who'd been caught wearing a Nazi swastika to a fancy-dress party, referring to members of her military platoon as a "little Paki" or a "raghead" or being photographed nude during a game of strip billiards in Las Vegas. And how would Mary have fared if it had been her and not her husband who'd once been photographed jumping naked from an upper level window of a "Princess mary denmark dating online" chateau into a swimming pool?
Then there's the lifetime of having to always be on one's best behaviour as a ribbon-slicing, bridge-inaugurating, royal-breeding ornament — all while suffering concertina neck as a result of being constantly crushed beneath satin hats the
Princess mary denmark dating online of industrial smoke stacks. These first-world problems are not nearly as dire as the hell that goes down in The Handmaid's Tale, but if anyone gets word that Offred or Ofharry require a Mayday Underground-style extraction, I'm so in.
She wrote Something About Mary: First posted May 16, If you have inside knowledge of a topic in the news, contact the ABC. ABC teams share the story behind the story and insights into the making of digital, TV and radio content. Read about our editorial guiding principles and the enforceable standard our journalists follow. On the fringes of Australia's biggest cities, people work and play next to some of the nation's biggest polluters.
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Princess Mary and Meghan Markle Reuters. Meghan Markle's father reportedly in hospital again as will-he won't-he saga drags on.
What time is the Royal wedding and how can I watch? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be married on Saturday. What time does the Royal wedding start? The wedding service for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will start at 9: Marrying a prince is nothing a nice girl from the Sydney's inner-east couldn't do.
Project image of family perfection, check. Produce multiple heirs, check. Mary ditched the drab wardrobe, slumpy posture Princess mary denmark dating online broad Awstrayan accent Princess mary denmark dating online and gained a portrait in the National Gallery "Princess mary denmark dating online" Australia.
Meghan has had to delete her social media accounts, but will it be enough? Mary's perfected the art of wearing a ridiculously large hat while smiling serenely. Full coverage of the Royal wedding 'I will': Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding The Queen's wedding gift to Meghan and Harry was a dukedom mothballed for the last years Celebrities, well-wishers flock to Windsor for Royal wedding From kissing cousins to racy actresses — the evolution of Royal love Eight better things to do than watching the Royal wedding 'She doesn't need to be saved': From party-loving Prince to model Royal No shellfish, selfies or short skirts: Why some people hate the Royal wedding Is the Markle debacle such a terrible thing?
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