Everything your mother didn't have time to tell you because she was too busy struggling! What bigoted moron could ever be against interracial dating?
That is how I thought, until last Thanksgiving. That wonderful time of year had come and I decided to host the festivities. I was so busy setting and clearing the table, directing guests and caring for my two toddler boys that I hardly listened to the dinner conversation. His schoolmate then added that the only girls Richard finds attractive have long blonde hair and Interracial dating self hatred eyes.
Richard, who is black himself, did not deny it. That same evening, Richard laughed heartily as he told the joke that black women died on the Titanic because they refused to get on emergency rafts. But I never imagined that such hate speech would be present in my own home, at a table purchased and decorated by black women and filled to the brim with food lovingly cooked and served by black women. If such lunacy could infect my nephew, then the rest of the black boys that I loved were not safe from such white supremacist indoctrination.
"Interracial dating self hatred" could not sleep that night. I lay awake in my bed, surrounded by black manhood.
My three year-old son was sucking his thumb with one hand and tugging at my sisterlocks with the other. My month old son was nursing while sleeping. I played footsy with my husband. Sadly, the words of controversial Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist Kola Boof, during her twitter fight with Nigerian-American rapper, Waleechoed in my mind.
I told her that I was deeply disturbed by certain comments that Richard had made. She did not need to hear much more.
He was filled with teenage bravado and defensiveness. When I confronted him about saying that there was not a single attractive black girl at his college, he argued that he did not say that there were no attractive black girls.
He said that he had not seen any attractive black girls in his 1.
This distinction without a difference troubled me and I
Interracial dating self hatred with him to look closer. I told him that his mother and sister were beautiful they look like the model Oluchi Onweagba and that he should look for their beauty, which is not uncommon in the African Diaspora, in the women on his campus.
Next, I expressed that the weave joke was inappropriate, especially given the fact that out of the eleven adult black women at Thanksgiving dinner, eight donned hair that did not grow from their scalps. Hair is an accessory used by women of multiple races.
Richard argued that he told the joke to my forty-year old male cousin, who happened to be married to a white woman at the time, and my cousin did not say anything and therefore the joke must have been fine.
I responded that it was still offensive. Although I was 14 when he was born, people would sometimes ask if I was his mother when I babysat him. The pride of being perceived as the mother of such an adorable boy outweighed the stigma of teenage pregnancy. I told him that I take it as a compliment when people say that my sons resemble him and that at the very least he Interracial dating self hatred be open to marrying a black woman and to having a child that resembles him in hue and hair texture.
Seeing beauty in a black woman is seeing beauty in himself. If he falls in love with a non-black woman, great.
I will support him completely! But
Interracial dating self hatred interracial relationships should be based on genuine love, and not lack of appreciation of his own physical features as reflected in black women. Knowing that he has been called horrific racist names by white people in his suburban town, I told him that his beauty and humanity are self-evident, even if certain individuals and media images deny that.
Last, I told him that his current perspective serves as a curse upon his teenage sister who will soon navigate the dating world. Richard did not seem swayed in those moments.
He is still a teenager who, like most teenagers, is discovering himself. As spiritual beings, we should find Interracial dating self hatred and companionship with others, regardless of race, national origin etc. I deeply care for my former and present white sister-in-laws. I even used to own a dating site that encouraged black women to open their minds to men of all races. The interracial dating bloggers behind BeyondBlackandWhite.